Mr. Curiosity

Here I am, singing along.. :)

The Devil Wears...?

Andy Sachs: I don't think I'm like that. I couldn't do what you did to Nigel, Miranda. I couldn't do something like that.
Miranda Priestly: You already did. To Emily.
Andy Sachs: That's not what I... no, that was different. I didn't have a choice.
Miranda Priestly: No, no, you chose. You chose to get ahead. You want this life. Those choices are necessary.
Andy Sachs: But what if this isn't what I want? I mean what if I don't wanna live the way you live?
Miranda Priestly: Oh, don't be ridiculous. Andrea. Everybody wants this. Everybody wants to be us.
-The Devil Wears Prada, movie dialog

It was late at night, when I stumbled upon this movie on the television, and Andrea's question echoed in my mind afterwards.. "What if I don't wanna live the way you live?"

And the answer? Almost everyone says what Miranda said, "Don't be ridiculous, everybody wants this."
Well, if life choice is about statistics, we can survey hundreds of people and analyze which answer will be given by the majority of people.. Alas, majority sometimes doesn't represent the truth.. As well as life choice sometimes can't be inferred from statistics.. And maybe that's why, sometimes asking people in a certain matter doesn't help us to decide our choice...

I was wondering, whether I have to see my life now like I saw Andrea's life in the movie.. (well, off course not the glamorous part of it, :p). We can see clearly that Andrea was misplaced in the fashion world. Off course it is because the author leads us to think like that.. that her good nature and simple life actually can be spoiled by the noise and ambition.. and that in the end, she choose the right thing to step out of the noisy life. But, in our reality, I couldn't see it as clear as in the movie.. Until I ponder over it..

Could it be possible that I pursue something the way Miranda Priestly pursue her whole achievement?
We are led to agree that Miranda was the devil disguised in those exquisite attire.. But could it also possible that the devil comes in other attire.. here, in this particular life.. And I see it and praise it like other people praise Miranda Priestly for her achievement? Should I change my point of view and consider to step out of the "arena" like Andrea did, even though so many people seem to be longing for it?

 

                                                                        - Nigel to andrea

Sang Alkemis

Kabarnya ia bisa mengubah logam apa pun menjadi emas..Hmm...
Saya tidak begitu tertarik dengan logam kuning berkilau itu..

Tapi bagaimana kalau.. emas itu adalah lambang untuk kebaikan apa pun dalam hidup ini?

Mengubah logam apa pun menjadi emas.. Mungkin mirip dengan mengubah batu bata yang dilemparkan orang pada kita.. Tak perlu memaki si pelempar.. dikumpulkan saja batu batanya, siapa tahu bisa membangun rumah darinya. :)

Seperti apa yang kita punya..
Kadang kita tak tahu ia baik atau tidak untuk kita..
Sebagian orang bersikeras bahwa mereka tahu apa yang terbaik bagi mereka, lalu berusaha sekuat tenaga mengejarnya..
Mungkin mereka benar..
Tapi, ketika kenyataan tak sesuai impian.. biarlah semua keadaan kita ubah menjadi sebuah kebaikan..
Seperti kata orang, kalau nasi sudah jadi bubur... ya sekalian dibuat bubur ayam saja, yang enak, dan menyehatkan.

Bukankah setiap muslim itu amat baik urusannya.. bila ditimpa musibah ia bersabar, dan bila diberikan nikmat maka ia bersyukur.. kedua perihal itu baik baginya.. musibah ataupun karunia, pada akhirnya ditransformasi menjadi sesuatu yang bernilai di mata-Nya..

Semoga..

Semoga saja, kita bisa mentransformasi apa yang kita punya, menjadi sesuatu yang bernilai.. walau ia bukan si logam kuning berkilau.. ;)

Polaritas

Hanya dalam sunyi sebuah bunyi bisa berarti..
Hanya karena ada gelap maka terang menjadi bermakna..

Saya tak tahu persis bagaimana terjemahan yang sebenarnya. Kurang lebih, itulah yang saya ingat..
Bilangan minggu sudah berlalu saat kata-kata itu terlintas..
Minggu-minggu yang menuntun saya untuk akhirnya mengambil kesimpulan atas dua polaritas.. Wallohu a'lam..

Entah sejak kapan saya mulai membenturkan dua hal yang hendaknya sejalan..
mungkin karena hati saya terlalu bising hingga tak bisa mendengarkan arahan..
yang sampai ke telinga saya seolah-olah hanya "pilih A berarti kamu tidak termasuk B! pilih B berarti kamu musuh A! Pilih salah satu! Pilih salah satu!"

Sampai sekarang, saya tak pernah tahu mengapa A dan B berseteru, apakah perseteruan itu memang perlu, apakah damai adalah jalan keluar, ataukah mengalahkan salah satunya adalah lebih utama. Dan yang terpenting, apakah perseteruan A dan B itu urusan saya atau bukan. hehe.. :p
Tapi saya tahu satu hal, saya harus berjalan, dan di depan saya A dan B menghadang. Ingin sekali saya mengenal keduanya, karena sepertinya saya merasa bahwa ada kebaikan pada keduanya.. walau memang mereka bertolak belakang..

Pada akhirnya pertanyaan-pertanyaan saya di atas tetap belum terjawab..
Saya hanya mencoba berjalan sambil berusaha menganggap mereka sebagai bagian dari abjad..
A dan B memang akan tetap ada.. tak bisa saling memusnahkan.. karena kata takkan lengkap tanpa mereka..
Sebagaimana malam dan siang tak saling mengalahkan..
sebagaimana utara dan selatan tak saling meniadakan..
Polaritas sepertinya akan tetap ada..
Walau memang, suatu saat kita harus memilih salah satu di antara keduanya..
Namun, bukan karena kita berada di utara lantas selatan menjadi salah..
Indra ini memang terbatas, hanya bisa memandang dari tempat kita berdiri..
Mungkin hanya cukup utk menyadari,
bahwa sunyi dan bunyi masing-masing memiliki arti..
Gelap dan terang pun sama-sama memiliki makna..
Beyond the polarity.. there is only The Almighty..

HOME

I know this will take time to watch... one hour and a half... But perhaps.. the message in this movie.. is something that every human being should know..

I forget how I stumbled upon this video.. I guess it's when I was wandering around, trying to find a series of videos from Carl Sagan, entitled Cosmos.. then my search hit this movie..

I know, I weep a lot when I watch movies, even recently, when my friend asked me to re-watch  Three Idiots, which is a comedy movie, and I have watched it about three times.. but I never thought that a documentary movie also can make me cry, a lot. Until I watched this.

Inside, I just don't want to grow up..

As a kid, I learned to see the grown up as an annoying creature. :p
I read The Little Prince by Saint Exupery at the age of 6 or 7, when I was in my first class of elementary school.. And I feel that the book explained my feeling as a little kid completely.
Yes, yes.. the grown up never care about my beloved friends whose cat just gave birth to 5 cute kitten! they didn't care! :p

Yes, they laugh when my creative mind told me to make an interesting invention! huh! They thought that it doesn't make sense in their world, they didn't know that it totally makes sense for us!! Then, if they didn't know, they thought it's impossible. And they laugh. Or they just pretend to be appreciative. Pretending. huh. That was my thought about the grown up. :p

Remember when Saint Exupery told us about the Elephant inside a Boa snake? How he tried to draw it with an amazing imagination but the grown up just took a glimpse on it and thought that the picture was a HAT? it's elephant inside a boa snake! I cried loudly.

All the figures who were encountered by the little prince on his journey formed my perspective about people, perhaps, until this moment. Even though I was just a litle kid when I first read the book.. But I felt I could clearly distinguish who is the clown, who is the geographer, who is the King, who is the Judge, who is the businessman, and who is the lamp-keeper..in my real life. And since that time, I try to be not like them.

But, now... I'm affraid I just crossed into the enemy's side.. I'm afraid if I'm one of them.. :(

Or I was. Because lately I realized again how annoying it was to be one of them. So, let's consider I'm now on my way back to the kid's side..

Still.. I feel something's just not right.. It's nature's law that I have to be a grown up. I just can't be the female version of Peter Pan that refuse to grow up.. And even if I have a choice.. will I choose to live in Neverland? No, I don't think so... Even Peter Pan eventually decided to grow up (in one of the movie, at least), because he wanted to become a father..

Well, I believe there's a way to grow up wisefully.. I only have to discover it.. :)

Lethargy



Perhaps, it's never really physical.
You can exhaust yourself all day but become totally cheerful when you meet your loved one in the end of the day. Perhaps you can do anything for her, if your mind under the spell of love. Heavy physical works will not matter at all.

Disappointment, unsatisfying life, unhealthy mental attitude.. perhaps they are the ones that suck up all the energy and leave you in lethargy. Loss of perspective, no sense of purpose, unhealthy society... are the subtle factors that leave you disarmed and defeated.

The question is, how to get out of the mess and recharge your energy again?
I don't know..
Sometimes tears will help you cleaning up.. wash down the grief of disappointment, sooth the anger, make you see clearly.
Sometimes it is a moment of silence that will help you realize how noisy your life is. And how much you need to arrange the noise into harmony. A short moment of silence.
And a trust... to The Almighty.. and a hope.. and a determination, to be better.

Judging

Di suatu titik saya menyadari..

Bahwa saya tak pernah mengerti seseorang secara keseluruhan..

Then what's the point of judging, categorizing, and make a final assessment from a distance?

We're all humans.. a complex, mysterious, and too sophisticated creature to describe.. I never know if one of us can be categorized as completely black, or completely white... this world is not divided by a clear bold line into good people and bad people... perhaps, we're hovering in between, hopefully struggling towards goodness...

But we don't have the right to make a final judgement..

We change..

We grow..

We learn..

Simply think the best of everyone... That way, the world becomes more beautiful.. warm, and welcoming.. :)

Somehow I remember a line from Hamza Yusuf...

"You cannot make a judgement about a thing unless you completely understand the thing... To judge a thing is to conceptualize the entirety of a thing. It is a principle in logic and that's why a judge has to know all the facts.."

We'll never know all the facts... Our sight is limited to which we can see... our mind is limited to which we can think... beyond all those... we never know how much we don't know.. let's smile.. make friend.. and try to be better all the time... just like that. :)


Dan yang terpenting..

Siapalah kita ini.. mencoba menilai manusia lain? Kalau kata seorang teman... who are you to judge people?

Kita sendiri akan jadi objek dari sebuah penilaian maha adil kelak..

yes, think the best of everyone.. jangan mengkotak-kotakkan.. apalagi berprasangka hanya karena kita berbeda sudut pandang.. we'll never know someone completely.. even someone that we think the worst among us, can be the best person of all people someday.. I believe that.. :)

The Advantage of Not Thinking

Not exactly "not thinking at all", of course..
It's more like: the advantage of less thinking. :p
Is there really any advantage? Well.. Maybe this is only one of many ways in seeing things. Still, it feels true to me in a way, so I want to share it.. :)

I remember when Harry Potter was being asked by his friends to teach Defense Against The Dark Arts, he got upset and told them that it's not like in classroom, or textbook, or something like that.. it's not like you can think straight and memorizing spells, he said, it's only you and your own guts or whatever..

As long as I can remember, every time I have to practice something, I always think thoroughly, ponder over that matter comprehensively, until I really can get the whole clear picture of what I am doing, and I wouldn't start until I finished that "contemplative" part. "See an end before you start", that was my motto.

Except in this last two or three years, or maybe even more. Four years? Apparently it all started when I was in my professional internship at the hospital as part of my medical training. In 2009, it was when everything started, or it seems.

For the first few months, I was the same organized, structured, well-planned, disciplined person. Even to insert a needle into someone's body I have to make a really proper preparation, including mental preparation, which are an empathy, an understanding of someone's fear, etc, etc.. (Because the physician's motto is Primum non nocere, right?). In my practical lesson with friends I even didn't want to stick the needle into my friend's vein before I try it myself.  That way I can really know and feel how it is. And I will be sure with what I am doing.

The last time I feel like the same person maybe when I was in pediatric ward, which is my 6th out of 15 internships (each internship takes 1 or 2 months in different wards, such as surgery, dermatology, pediatric, and so on), in June, 2009. I remember how many books I prepared. I remember how many information I tried to dig out of a lot of "experienced" people (most of them actually only friends who've finished their pediatric round :p), I remember the schedules scattered everywhere in the wall, including the schedule for cooking, the menu that I have to buy to use the time efficiently, when to do the laundry and the clothes that I have to wear at a certain time. Because I have limited "resource", I couldn't buy clothes as many as I want. So, in order to have a comfortable clothes when I did my night-shift in the hospital, because I have to move fast, efficient (and of course hopefully graceful :p), I have to really schedule when to wear certain clothes. Sleeping also one of the matter to be scheduled. Because being a doctor means we're related with someone's life. It's not about graduating with a good GPA and pass the exam!! That's how I perceived my medical education.

But in the process of maintaining that personality, of course I encounter so many new things, I learn how is the rythm of  the real world, or of this particular real place that I lived in. That's not in the same rythm with mine. I felt rather disappointed with reality. For example, my idea of Medical Records, electronic or not, with high technology or not, is everything we notice in a patient, with careful consideration, applying what we've learned throughout or education, not just filling some form for administrative purpose. Our age maybe different with Hippocrates, who noticed the wind and the weather in accordance to someone's health, and wrote it in his record. No, maybe it's too much, I can imagine how if we allowed to notice the weather in our modern medical record, we'll write a poem instead. ;) Still, we can improve our way in examining the patient, rather than write something only administratively.

At that moment, I loosened my grip into my own principle. I became someone who goes with the flow. Because that's the easiest way. I was tired. And everything moved so fast that I can't remember the details of my journey from that moment. I wasn't the one who think carefully again. I was just a puppet on the river stream. I didn't consider a lot when I make a decision. My principle is like: well, a decision has to be made, whatever it is. If it's wrong, then let's start all over again. :p I know that's not really bad, but some of my decisions are really lousy, and I still feel guilty until now. For example: what will I do after I graduate from medical school? Hmm, let's see... what, there's a job opportunity in there? Okay I'll try. But at the same moment I also plan something very different that I couldn't carry out both of the plan at the same time, so I end up as a disappointing people, and got several problems.

But the good thing is that, for some time, I enjoyed the world.
But after a while, I start to hate myself. I struggled to come back to the old me with a hard effort.
And it is really, really, not easy AT ALL.

I'm still doing something impulsively, not thinking, and I hate that.

But here's come the life event that triggers me to write:

Two days ago I went skiing.
People asked me whether I was afraid. And I tell them, yes I'm afraid.
While in fact, I can't feel anything. I answered like that, because that's normally what "my old me" would feel. I was much worry by the fact that I wasn't afraid. I don't know anything about skiing, and I didn't prepare anything, but I wasn't worry at all. I was more afraid of the possibility that now I am an ignorant person. That's really annoying.

But well, I went through all the process. I start sliding on the snow -without thinking of the whole process, how I can move, how to brake, how is the correct attitude, how to make myself less injured when I fall, and soon, no I wasn't thinking about those-, and I did it! It felt really good. And then, at a certain point I saw someone fell. Then I start thinking about falling. I start concentrating on my move, I thought of every single movement, and realized I didn't know anything. That was when I start to feel afraid.

Then I fell to the ground. :P
Lying for a while, couldn't stand because I don't know how to stand with those skiing equipment on my feet. But it wasn't that bad. I struggled to get on my feet again. And that's all.
But... after that, I start to be more careful and thoughtful.. and then I fell more often!! ha ha ha.. :D
In the end I decided to just keep trying, without thinking too much, and it worked. I really enjoyed it. :)
Well, I fell several times. But I just let the gravity pull me the ground, :p Laughed, and not worried to much, because, even if no one notice or help, you'll get on your feet again, after you're ready.. after some moment of pause.. don't worry, you'll stand again.. when you feel up to. :)

I remember how I thought my sister was a lousy teacher when I asked her to teach me to drive a car, because in my view, to be able to drive, one should know how the car works, how the steer can move the whole body, and so on. :p And I didn't feel sure to drive before I know all of those. :P
I remember how I hate to learn to bike when I was a kid, because I didn't understand the whole process and my sister just told me to do this and that. What is it that I am doing??? That's how my mind screaming. :P
Then, when I learned how to drive the car again, after my mind was "empty", well, I did it much better. :P I still feel uncomfortable that I don't know anything about the car, but when I keep practicing, without fussing too much, I think that's also a way to learn something. :)
And that leads me to what Harry Potter said.. real life is different with classroom or textbook, or theory.. Sometimes it's only you and your own guts.. But you still have to keep moving.. even though you're not sure.. Keep moving, while learning..

But, in a way.. I will be more comfortable if I can be the same well-organized person who think thoroughly, even though this "less-thinking" version perhaps is not really bad.. :P
Well... every personality has its plus and minus points maybe, that's a whole package.. :p

Drive

One of the lines that I remember from a book is this one:

"Reason can not tell us where to go, but it can tell us how to get there... it is a gun for hire for anything we want...whether it is good or bad..."

Then, what is it that decides where we want to go?

Maybe the word can speak for itself. Want.
I don't know if I decide what I want consciously.
Some of the things, yes, maybe. Maybe reason takes part.
But most of them, I just want.
Something drives me deep down inside.

And the explanation why I want something, which sounds so rational, often only to provide people with plausible and satisfying answer. The exact feeling that drives me, is lying underneath... sometimes undetectable, even by very serious contemplation.

Some people even don't bother to detect it.

But what struck me is that apparently I took "that feeling" for granted, In the past time, I didn't realize how much it keeps me alive.

Until comes a certain moment in my life when I couldn't feel the drive inside of me...
It is a grim, horrible moment, and really frustrating...
I tried hard to really want something. But I just didn't feel anything. I don't know what I want, I wonder why people want something, I tried to find a reason to want something, and any reason just failed. Some of them might work at first, but they just didn't create enough drive to make me keep moving forward. It's like, I just want to stop.

I kept thinking, why bother to do this and that? I can answer this question actually.. because of this, because of that... but I just couldn't feel it. There's a difference between knowing and feeling.

The only thing that kept me walking at those moment was responsibility. It dragged me like a heavy burden hanging around my neck. It kept me move, even though with heavy steps.

Still, I moved. And now I am grateful for it. Because if I stop walking, maybe I couldn't find the drive anymore.

Then, at a certain point, I just didn't realize why, I start laughing heartily, I start liking something (while previously I ignored completely the concept of like-don't like, the responsibility told me it was must and must not), my steps were light and cheery, I wanted to do something. I wanted.

Then I remembered the usual question: why? why I want this? What's the good thing in it? What's the reason that I want it? And I couldn't find the answer. I simply want. No explainable reason behind it.

Well, Maybe I wasn't completely clueless. I can feel the drive and suspected something as being a motive, still... I couldn't explain it. :)

So, in the end, when I feel "alive" again, I come up with a conclusion: Whatever it is, whatever you might call it; drive, motive, passion, desire.. I think we should be grateful for having it. It keeps us alive. :)

Alhamdulillah.. :)

Satu Variabel Baru

Cukup lama saya merenungkan apa yang sebenarnya berubah dalam hidup saya..

Tidak tampak bedanya mungkin, tapi terasa.
Begitu terasa.

Tak nyaman.
Dan saya tak tahu di mana bedanya.

Saya bersyukur dengan apa yang telah diberikan untuk hidup saya,
namun sepertinya saya masih belum bisa menempatkan banyak hal dalam posisi yang sepenuhnya tepat..

Mungkin seperti diberi rumah lengkap dengan isinya, tapi ada mesin cuci dan kompor gas deket kasur, kulkas yang terjungkir balik, meja belajar di kamar mandi, buku-buku bercampur baju dan kaos kaki. Semua ada, tapi tetap saja terasa pusing.

Tapi tentu saja itu masih bisa dirapikan, karena kita tahu benda apa yang seharusnya ditempatkan di mana.
Yang susah adalah jika kita tak tahu bagaimana kita harus menyusunnya, seperti banyak hal dalam hidup kita.

Terpikir oleh saya, mungkin semua ini bisa dihindari kalau kita punya rencana, punya gambaran tentang hidup yg ingin kita pahat.. tapi tentu tak sesederhana itu.

Ya, mungkin bisa saja kita membuat rencana akan seperti apa rumah kita dari jauh-jauh hari sebelumnya, kita sudah tahu ingin menempatkan mesin cuci dan lemari di sebelah mana, dapur sebelah mana, dan lain sebagainya.. tapi yang tak terduga, sepertinya selalu ada kemungkinan untuk ikut serta..misalnya, tiba-tiba saja dapat hadiah mobil, dan tentu saja kita jadi harus merubah semua rancangan rumah itu, yang sudah dibuat dengan sesempurna mungkin.. walau mobil itu sebuah anugerah, tetap saja, perlu penyesuaian untuk membuatnya menjadi bagian hidup kita.

Dan mungkin, itulah yang saat ini saya rasakan.
Sebuah variabel baru, yang membat saya harus mengubah banyak hal, mungkin termasuk sikap dan pandangan hidup saya?
Saya tak tahu.
Saya masih belum tahu bagaimana menyikapinya.
Apa yang harus berubah dan apa yang tidak.

Bangunan mana yang perlu dipugar, mana yang harus tetap ada.
Dan... apakah variabel baru ini memang harus menjadi bagian dari hidup saya, dengan segala perubahan yan dibawanya... ataukah... tak ada yang perlu berubah.. dan kadang sebuah mobil pun akan lebih baik jika berada di tangan orang lain yang lebih tepat..
Saya juga tak tahu...

Hanya bisa berdoa, agar saya bisa memutuskan yang terbaik...

Ventilasi

Pagi ini, terlintas sebuah ide yang sepertinya menarik..

Tulis di facebook ah, pikirku.

Sejenak kemudian pikiranku melayang pada tahun-tahun silam,

Ada yang beda dari semangat ini.

Rasanya dulu sebuah ide akan terasa menyesakkan jika kita belum beranjak untuk bergerak..

Sekarang kita bisa menuliskannya dulu, kan nanti bisa dibaca-baca kalau lupa..

kalau momennya tepat, baru terlaksana.. *mungkin*

Paling tidak, itulah yang terjadi pada saya.

Semangat itu tertuang dalam kata.

Menjejak dalam ucap, di status fb, bbm, di twitter, di blog, di kertas...

Tapi sepertinya ia tak lagi menyisakan tenaga untuk membuat saya bergerak.

Tenaga yang dahulu bisa menggerakan itu sepertinya sekarang lebih mudah untuk meloloskan diri lewat celah-celah ventilasi..

Hingga sisa tenaganya tak cukup untuk membangun sebuah tekanan layaknya sebuah sistem peluncur roket..

Yah, memang saya juga sih yg membuat lubang-lubang ventilasi itu..

Saya yang menyediakan pelarian untuk semangat-semangat itu.. sehingga mereka berhamburan keluar..

Mungkin perumpamaan yg lebih dekat adalah seperti menimba air dengan ember berlubang..

Airnya sudah habis sebelum ember sampai ke tangan kita..

Saya benar-benar harus banyak belajar..

Untuk tak membuang tenaga sia-sia,

Hanya dalam bentuk kata-kata..

Tahun Baru?

Saat selesai menulis post di bawah (Ayam Panggang dan Harmoni), saya sempat bengong sesaat ketika menemukan judul itu ada di bawah Arsip Januari, 2012.

Hmmm..
Tak sadar bahwa hari ini hari pertama di tahun baru.
"Tapi itu tahun baru Masehi!" tiba-tiba saya terngiang ucapan seorang teman.

Ya, tentu saja, tonggak waktu yang sehari-hari kita gunakan, di sekolah, di rumah, di mana-mana, adalah tonggak waktu peninggalan zaman dulu. Dan kalender Masehi inilah yang paling lazim digunakan.
Jujur, saya sendiri hanya menganggapnya tonggak waktu.
Sebagaimana matahari dan bulan menunjukkan pergantian malam dan siang.
Ia-lah alat.
Memang ia adalah produk budaya tertentu.
Namun, apa yang tidak?

Terkadang propaganda besar-besaran lah yang membuat sebuah budaya bertahan,
terkadang karena ia memang tahan terhadap tempaan zaman, karena ia berdaya guna, karena ia memang yang paling baik dan sesuai dengan aturan semesta raya.
Mungkin. Saya sendiri tak tahu pasti.

Yang jelas tonggak waktu yg satu ini tiba-tiba membuat saya berpikir tentang perjalanan selama ini..
Dan apa yang akan saya hadapi dalam tahun-tahun ke depan..

Entah apa..

Saat menulis ini saya memandang keluar jendela dan melihat burung-burung beterbangan di balik ranting-ranting pohon yang gundul.
Pohon-pohon di musim dingin.
Ya, saya di negeri empat musim,
yang bukan negeri saya sendiri.

Saya lupa apa yang saya impikan di tahun-tahun belakangan.
Saya pun tak tahu apakah perjalanan ini masuk ke dalam rencana atau tidak.

Saya sendiri lupa apa rencana-rencana saya.

Dua tahun terakhir seperti mimpi singkat.

Notasi-notasi kehidupan yang biasanya saya rasakan perlahan-lahan, saya ingat dan beri makna begitu rupa, dalam dua tahun ini seperti berjejalan dan dan berdesakan.
Masih terlalu rumit untuk saya urai dan telusuri agar kembali menjadi rangkaian rapi.
Masih terlalu dini memutuskan kacamata mana yang akan saya gunakan untuk memandangnya..

Namun, apapun itu..
Saya bersyukur menemukan sesuatu yang akan terus membuat saya berjalan..
Bismillah..
Sungguh.. tak ada daya dan upaya, tak ada makna, tak ada apapun selain karena kehendak-Nya..

Maka, semoga saya bisa menggunakan tonggak waktu ini untuk kembali menata yang terlanjur berserakan..


Nijmegen, 1 Januari 2012

Ayam Panggang dan Harmoni

Memang tak ada yang lebih nikmat selain masakan dari negeri sendiri.

Itu yang saya simpulkan ketika menikmati ayam panggang di kedai Turki.

Ayamnya sendiri enak, harum, empuk merata. Tapi bumbu.. hmmmm... Indonesia tetap juara, :p

Setelah obrol sana-sini, ternyata komentar teman-teman yang sudah lama di sini juga serupa, bagi kami, masakan di sini terlalu "tawar". (tapi bagus juga mungkin ya, bagi yang diet gula dan garam, :) )

Untuk menambah rasa, akhirnya saya pun minta chilli sauce, alias sambal botolan.

Namun, setelah satu suapan, lagi2 saya tak tahan untuk berkomentar.. kok rasanya solo pedas saja? Duet sedikit dengan rasa asin. Hiks.. mana manis-manisnya, asam-asam tomatnya, dan harum bawang2nyaa.. T.T (lebay ya.. hehe), lalu disusul dengan teriakan.. sambal A*C, aku padamuu.. (halah)

Setelah saya pikir-pikir,

Masakan Indonesia itu seperti "konser segala rasa" yang komposisinya harus seimbang, hehehe..

Sayur asam yang salah satu masakan favorit saya, contohnya, mengandung semua jenis rasa.. *kecuali rasa pahit dink, hihi*

Kalo melihat bumbu rendang atau sambal balado, gudeg, dll.. wah.. bermacam bumbu ada di sana.. dan rasanya lezaaat... manis, asam, asin, pedas, berpadu seimbang.

Kebanyakan masakan di sini hanya menggunakan sedikit bumbu, cukup garam dan merica, misalnya. Atau cukup dicocol mayonaise, atau saus-saus lainnya yang creamy. Sementara, kalo dipikir-pikir, yang diunggulkan dari masakan tersebut sepertinya adalah rasa asli bahan makanannya. Misalnya, rasa asli ikannya, atau sayur-sayurannya.

Berbeda dengan makanan favorit saya, si rendang, sate, sayur asam, gudeg, ikan pindang, yang bumbu-bumbunya berlimpah dan membaur hingga rasa asli makanannya tak begitu bisa dibedakan.

Hmmm... apa mungkin karena Indonesia paduan berbagai budaya ya?

Hingga sikap pertengahan nan seimbang itulah yang harus diunggulkan, bahkan dalam hal masakan?

Tentu, kita masih bisa membedakan bahwa ini wangi jeruk nipis, ini kayu manis, dsb.. tapi semua membaur dalam satu harmoni. Bersatu padu. Bhineka tunggal ika.

Nah lho.. kok jadi kesini?

Hehe..

Jujur, memang ini yang saya pikirkan.

Suatu hari saya juga sempat ngobrol dengan salah seorang supervisor di sini, katanya karakteristik manusia kadang bisa dilihat dari letak geografis tempat dimana ia berasal.

Semakin dekat ke kutub, orang-orang semakin tertutup dan individualis, katanya.

Semakin mendekati ekuator, orang-orang lebih ramah dan terbuka.

Walau tentu tak bisa digeneralisir sepenuhnya.

tapi mungkin ada benarnya juga.

Menurutnya, semua itu ada kaitannya dengan keragaman juga, mendekati ekuator, keragaman di suatu tempat menjadi lebih tinggi. Contoh nyata, tentu saja hutan amazon dan hutan Indo, yang keragaman hayatinya sangat tinggi.

Bukan berarti di tempat lain tak ada jenis binatang atau tumbuhan yang berbeda. Mereka juga memiliki ekosistem khas mereka, namun lebih homogen atau less diverse tentu saja.

Dan, katanya, di tempat dengan keragaman tinggi, sikap menjaga harmoni-lah memang yang akan membantu menjaga kelangsungan hidup kita.

Jadi, betapa indah semboyan itu sebenarnya, Bhineka Tunggal Ika, Unity in Diversity.

Hmmmm.. terakhir, saya ingat pepatah orang tua kita dahulu, dimana bumi dipijak, di situ langit dijunjung.. begitu katanya.. tak bisa kita memaksakan budaya luar ke dalam negeri kita. Ada yang asli, yang original, yang harus dipertahankan, yang dari fondasi itulah kita berharap bisa bergerak maju, membawa jati diri kita. Tidak semata mengadopsi kemajuan dan menerapkan apa yang berhasil nun di tempat yang jauh berbeda karakteristiknya.

Ah, semoga saja ini bukan cuma cerita gombal yang terlintas selagi makan ayam...